Consent Myths or Reality

Consent its a simple as Tea….

Reality – Consent cannot be implied from the way a person dresses or flirtatious behaviour. People get raped regardless of what they are wearing – this is just an excuse.

Reality – Consent to sexual activity cannot be implied from flirtatious behaviour or from the sending of a sexual image or message.  Assumes that someone cannot change their mind, even if they had initially been interested in sexual activity.

Reality – Consent to sexual activity cannot be implied from the method of meeting. Consensual sexual interaction online does not automatically imply consent to offline sexual interaction. Consent can be withdrawn at any time.

Reality – Victims of rape are never responsible, wholly or in part, for their rape or sexual assault, regardless of whether they have drunk alcohol, taken drugs, are asleep or otherwise incapacitated. If someone is unable to give consent because they are drunk, drugged or unconscious, it is rape.

Reality – When under threat, the brain will implement instinctual survival response that the victim will not necessarily have any control over. The response may not appear logical to others, or even the victim, but in the moment the brain would choose based on basic instincts: not just fight or flight, but flop, freeze or to befriend the attacker.

Reality – Most victims of rape do not report the attack to the police. Some may tell a friend, GP or other individual. Many others will not tell anyone perhaps owing to feelings of shame, guilt and fear of the perpetrator and/or fear of being disbelieved. The trauma of rape can cause feelings of shame and guilt which might inhibit a victim from making a complaint.

Reality – Rape can be very traumatic, and memory can be affected in a number of ways. Some, understandably, may try to avoid thinking about being raped or try to avoid recalling it all – this can impact upon recall. 

Reality – Most people who have been subjected to sexual violence were assaulted in their own homes, by a friend, family member or partner.

Reality – People in same-sex relationships are just as likely to experience sexual abuse and rape as straight people. Research shows that transgender individuals may be at even higher risk of abuse from their partner.  LGBTQ+ people can find it difficult to seek support because of additional stereotypes and prejudice they face.

Reality – The majority of sexual assaults and rapes are committed by men against women and children. However, women do perpetrate sexual violence against other women, men, and children. Often people who’ve been sexually assaulted or abused by a woman worry they won’t be believed, or their experiences won’t be considered ‘as bad’. This can make it difficult for these survivors to access services or justice.

Reality – Everyone has the right to say ‘no’ to any type of sexual activity at any time – including with their partner. Consent must be given and received freely every time. Rape and sexual violence in a relationship is illegal.

Reality – Online abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of what they post or share online. Online abusers can use various methods to target, harass, threaten, or manipulate their victims, such as hacking, phishing, impersonation, or blackmail.

Reality – Online abuse can have severe and lasting impacts on the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of the victims. Online abuse can cause anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, isolation, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts. Online abuse can also escalate to offline abuse, such as stalking, assault, or sexual violence.

Reality – Online abusers can be anyone, including people who are known or trusted by the victims, such as friends, family members, partners, or acquaintances. Online abusers can also be of any age, gender, or background.

Reality – Online abuse can be difficult to avoid or stop, as the abuser can use multiple accounts, platforms, or devices to continue the abuse. Blocking or reporting the abuser may not be enough to stop the abuse, and may also have negative consequences, such as retaliation, intimidation, or isolation.

Reality – Online abuse is never the fault or responsibility of the victim. Online abusers are the ones who choose to abuse others, and they are the ones who should be held accountable for their actions. No one deserves to be abused online, and no one should blame themselves or feel ashamed for being abused online.